dear M,
you know how much i care? a whole lot. its been a week without seeing and speaking to you and i wonder if im ever going to get past this. im glad at a coffee shop, i wont bawl and make an embarassing scene. i miss you, M. do you know, you were everything to me? the love of my life? how did this happen, love? I am trying hard to go on… but all i have is a blank face and i feel my eyes have dried out from crying and i cannot cry anymore. i wonder if youll ever come back to me. I learned at church today that God closes door and opens windows. I believe that God closed the door between us for a reason. It hurts a whole lot, M. But i hope and hope and pray AND continue to pray that you will find your way and find a way back to me. I hope to be with you to go back to God, M. I know youre lost. I will just be patient, as the voice in the back of my head keeps saying. If we were not meant to be, I can understand. It just hurts a whole lot and i feel like im still in this shock state.
i thought id never lose you again.
with love
S